Tuesday night musings

"Feel I'm on the verge of some great truth
Where I'm finally in my place
But I'm tumbling still for proof
And it's cluttering my space
Casting shadows on my face"

-Alexi Murdoch "Wait"

I was lucky enough to attend a kirtan/meditation session at Spirit Rock center in Marin on Sunday night. It was a celebration of the Winter Solstice, albeit a week early of the "actual date". It was one of the most powerful moments I've ever experienced. It had a lot to do with love, and finding the love inside of you that you have at your disposal and that you can offer not only yourself but others as well. There were some pretty specific people that came up for me and I felt so lucky to have them all in my life by the time the session ended. I haven't been able to get the idea of loving yourself and others out of my mind. Granted, this isn't a topic for the weary of heart. But when I think of love, I think of it as of a divine nature.

Divine love had no end as it in the same sense has no beginning. It doesn't abide by our definition of time. It is a constant force within us all that yearns to be released at all times. When we return to the source from which this love originates is when we find our Truth. For some reason we try and hold this love in, to cover it up with our thoughts, our stories, our perception of what love "should" be. When we release control of this misdirected and tainted form of thought we are able to actually "see". We're able to see that we are not our thoughts, we are only truth, light, spirit, breath. When we release control we inherently gain. This took me an incredibly long time to come to grips with. When we "let go", only then can we be touched by what the universe holds for us - everything we need is provided for us at each moment. It is this realization that is the truth, the way to the place from where we're all connected lies within us all at the present moment.